


No Faint Heart

by Burning_Nightingale



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burning_Nightingale/pseuds/Burning_Nightingale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every great love is tested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Faint Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [originally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/originally/gifts).



> I tried a lot of different ideas for this fic, and in the end this (hopefully) came out the best! Hope you like it, recip! :D

Up in the cockpit, Joker was singing.

“You got troubles…well I got ‘em too…there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do…”

“We got troubles, Joker,” Kasumi said, appearing out of thin air beside him.

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ,” Joker yelped, starting violently. “Don’t _do_ that!”

“How much do we pay for a full tank of fuel?” Kasumi asked.

Joker shrugged. “Don’t ask me, I just use the fuel, I don’t buy it.”

“Each full tank of fuel costs in the region of one thousands credits, not including depot docking fees,” EDI said.

Joker looked at her curiously. “Why do you want to know?”

“EDI, how much money has Shepard got in her bank account?” Kasumi asked.

“I am unable to share the individual financial information of crew members.”

“Yeah, I tried asking how much the others were making and got the same result,” Joker snorted.

“You realize you’re not getting paid at all, now we’ve left Cerberus?” Kasumi pointed out. “That’s what I’m worried about. Cash flow.”

Joker pointed upward. “I think that’s a problem you need to take to the boss; she controls who we give the middle finger to.”

“Yeah.” Kasumi slipped off the co-pilot’s seat and stood. “Thanks, Joker.”

“Anytime,” Joker said cheerfully.

Kasumi moved silently off down the CIC. It seemed so much quieter than before; Shepard had announced their break from Cerberus and offered the crew a chance to leave, and just over half had gone. The crew running the _Normandy_ now was at best at skeleton strength, and at worst they might be too few to handle dangerous situations.

Yeoman Chambers had chosen to stay on; she didn’t look up as Kasumi passed, but she said, “Hey,” in a distracted manner. Kasumi murmured something indistinct in return.

The lift was just ahead. Kasumi fingered the card in her pocket apprehensively, then pressed the button to call it to her level.

She’d never actually been to Shepard’s quarters to visit the Commander herself. To poke around and case her environment, sure, but never legitimately, uncloaked. She felt slightly unsure as she stepped up to the door and said aloud, “EDI, can you tell her I’m here?”

“Already done, Miss Goto,” EDI said politely.

A moment later the door opened to reveal Shepard, casually dressed in sweats and what looked like an old Alliance T-shirt, looking at her curiously. “Kasumi?”

“Hey, Shep. Can I talk to you a minute?” Kasumi told herself she wasn’t nervous. She didn’t get nervous.

“Sure.” Shepard stepped back invitingly, allowing her to walk past and into the cabin. Nothing had changed; the desk looked a little less messy, perhaps, but otherwise it was as it had always been. Kasumi didn’t bother pretending it was all new to her; Shepard probably wouldn’t have believed it anyway. She turned and looked at the fish tank, losing herself for a moment in the sound of the water and the bright flickering of the fish.

Shepard stepped past her and leant against the opposite wall. “So. What’s up?”

“Shepard, listen.” Kasumi took a breath and turned to face her. “This, as we’re working now – our situation isn’t sustainable.”

Shepard frowned. “Our situation?”

“Our finances, Shep. I don’t know how much you make as a Spectre, but I doubt it’s enough to run a warship, even a small one. Now that we’ve lost Cerberus funding, we’re not exactly making money. So- I-”

“Kasumi.” Shepard interrupted her gently, stepping forward and placing a hand on both of hers, which she had been unconsciously wringing together in front of her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to make excuses. You can go if you want to.”

Kasumi blinked. “I- what?”

“It’s fine, honestly. Zaeed split the moment we hit Omega, remember? Mordin went back to his clinic, Jacob’s off on his ‘journey of discovery’ or whatever. I released Samara from her oath last night; she’s leaving when we reach the Citadel.” Shepard smiled and squeezed her hand. “You did what you signed up to do, Kasumi. Hell, you killed it at the Collector base. You don’t have to hang out with us misfits anymore.”

“But I don’t want to leave!” Kasumi burst out. Shepard blinked, clearly surprised, and before Kasumi could give herself a moment to think about it, she pulled the card from her pocket and pressed it into Shepard’s hand. “This. I wanted to give you this.”

Shepard pulled her hand away to look down at the small plastic rectangle Kasumi had pressed into her palm. She flipped it over to read the words on the other side. “Is this…you bank card?” Shepard asked, confused.

“I picked up some things on our travels. Didn’t have time to blow the money, so I’ve got a bit of savings.” Kasumi shifted on her feet. “So…I want you to use it. If you need it.” She laughed awkwardly. “Can’t stay on a ship that can’t afford to fly, right?”

Shepard looked shocked, but also touched. “Kasumi- I can’t-”

“You can.” Kasumi closed Shepard’s hand over the card. “I want you to. Keiji’s the only one I’ve ever worked with like this, and we shared everything, so…” Maybe she’d take the hint. Or maybe it was too subtle? Maybe she should have-

Shepard took the hint. Using their joined hands to pull her closer, she leant down and closed the space between them. Kasumi closed her eyes and let herself melt into the kiss, leaning up against her.

Maybe she was getting in too deep; but if this was what too deep felt like, maybe she wanted to be.

/

Kasumi watched Hackett leave the medbay from the opposite side of the mess, noting the heaviness of his footsteps and the stiff set of his shoulders. She waited; when Shepard didn’t appear after a minute, she went in.

Shepard was alone, sitting on one of the beds. She was facing the door but her face was hidden, staring down at her hands; Kasumi took a soft step forwards. “Shep?” she asked cautiously.

Shepard looked up, blinking, as if torn out of deep thought; then she smiled, but it had no life behind it. “Hi.”

“It was rough, huh?” Kasumi asked, coming over to sit next to her.

Shepard just nodded; her haunted eyes said more than any words ever could.

They sat in silence for a long time; Kasumi wrapped her arms around Shepard’s waist and pressed her face into her shoulder, and they stayed still, just breathing. It seemed to help – or Kasumi hoped it did.

“I’ve made a decision,” Shepard said after a long while, “And you won’t like it.”

“You’re finally coming down on Blasto vs. Bond?” Kasumi joked half-heartedly.

The corners of Shepard’s lips twitched. “There’s no contest.” She sighed and pulled back a little from Kasumi’s embrace, so they could face each other. “I’m going back to Earth.”

“You’re going to back to a _court martial_ ,” Kasumi said scathingly, before she could help herself.

Shepard didn’t say anything; just looked at her, pain and stubborn resolution mixing in her eyes. Kasumi knew that look. It was the look she got when she’d decided on something, something painful, but no amount of pain would make her change her mind. Kasumi sighed and touched Shepard’s cheek gently. “I suppose that’s what I get for falling in love with a paragon of virtue,” she whispered.

“It’s the right thing to do.” Shepard leant into her touch.

“You’re so noble,” Kasumi said. She was trying to sound sardonic, but it came out a lot more sincere than she meant it to – which, of course, was much closer to the truth.

“Don’t feel it right about now,” Shepard whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

Kasumi leaned up and kissed her gently; it was a long few seconds before she pulled away. “So, when you get thrown in jail, I can come break you out, right?” she asked teasingly, throwing in a cheeky wink for good measure.

The sudden shift in tone finally wrung a laugh out of Shepard, even if it was slightly choked. “Oh, sure. Highest level Alliance security, no problem.”

“Child’s play,” Kasumi scoffed.

“I’ll want a real heist, mind you,” Shepard said, wagging a finger. “Intrigue, glamour, dazzle. The whole nine yards.”

“I’ll get a sexy new catsuit for the occasion.” She put on a sombre, serious face and said in a slightly deeper voice, “Goto. Kasumi Goto. Shaken, not stirred.”

Shepard grinned. “Then we’ll unite the galaxy, defeat the Reapers and be home in time for tonight’s episode of My Big Blue Asari Wedding.”

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? You watch that?”

“It’s mom’s fault, she got me into it. She loves all those reality TV shows.”

“Who would’ve thought? Do all the officers gather round in the lounge on Arcturus and watch trashy TV every night?” Kasumi asked.

“Of course. Hackett’s favourite is I’m An Extranet Star, Get Me Out Of Here.”

“You’re awful.” Kasumi leaned up and kissed her again, slowly. When she pulled back, she kept her eyes closed. “How long?”

“We’ll make a stop at the Citadel, so everyone who wants to leave can go,” Shepard said softly. “Then to Arcturus.” Kasumi heard Shepard fumbling in her pocket, and then she pressed something thin and plastic into her hand. “You’ll be needing this.”

Kasumi opened her eyes and looked down; her bank card. She sniffed a little. “Guess the Bank of Shepard and Goto is closed.”

“Only for a little while. Hopefully.” Shepard closed her hands over it. “Look after yourself.”

“I’m not going to stop my heinous life of crime, if that’s what you’re asking.” Kasumi smiled a little. “I might donate a little more, though. Become a regular Robin Hood, perhaps.”

Shepard smiled. “I don’t exactly fit Maid Marian.”

“You can work on it.”

“Commander.” Joker’s voice interrupted the moment over the comm system. “ETA two hours to the Citadel.”

“Thanks, Joker.” Shepard looked at her, a slightly sly smile on her face. “You doing anything for two hours?”

Kasumi should probably pack, but that smile promised much more interesting things. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m free.”

/

 _< sexycatsuits@extramail.com> to <g-man@extramail.com>_  
_Apr 8 th at 11:17pm_  
_Subject: Take Me To Our Leader_

_Hey G,_

_I hear our great leader is in the lock up. You organising a rescue mission yet?_

_K_

_< g-man@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_Apr 9 th at 08:46am_  
_Subject: Re: Take Me To Our Leader_

_Nice to hear from you Kasumi._

_Apparently that’s where she wants to be for now. If I hear any different, you’ll be the first to know._

_< t.krios@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_May3 rd at 07:13pm_  
_Subject: Shepard_

_Kasumi,_

_I’ve been trying to get a message through to Shepard. Is she under communications blackout? Is she in custody?_

_T_

_< sexycatsuits@extramail.com> to <t.krios@extramail.com>_  
_May 3 rd at 10:07pm_  
_Subject: Re: Shepard_

_Hey Thane,_

_She’s under house arrest, I think. Or in jail. No one’s quite sure. Hasn’t gone to court or been convicted yet, though._

_K_

_P.S. those books on your bedside were from me. Thought you’d appreciate them._

_< t.krios@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_May 4 th at 06:56am_  
_Subject: Re: Shepard_

 _I thought that was you. I won’t ask how you got your hands on a first edition of_ Ancient Legends of Thessia _. I’m not sure I want to know._

_< sexycatsuits@extramail.com> to <h.shepard@alliancenet.com>_  
_May 16 th at 01:32am_  
_Subject: Polite Request_

_Hi Mrs Shepard,_

_I wondered for a long time whether I should send this. I’m sorry if it’s inappropriate; you must get hundreds like it._

_I know we can’t talk to Shepard right now, but I was wondering, if you saw her, if you’d let her know we’re all thinking about her, and we miss her. Me especially._

_Thanks,_

_K Goto_

_< h.shepard@alliancenet.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_May 20 th at 09:25am_  
_Subject: Re: Polite Request_

_Miss Goto,_

_Technically I’m not supposed to answer messages from unknown sources, but as the Admiralty Board have a lot of things they could fire me for and they haven’t yet, I figure answering a few emails won’t cause them to kick me out._

_I saw my daughter yesterday, and she seems to be doing as well as can be. Chafing at confinement, of course, but I’d expect nothing less. I mentioned your message to her and she seemed very happy to hear it; she said to tell you she misses you too, and not to get into too much trouble while she’s gone._

_I can’t keep in regular contact, I’m afraid, but it has been hinted that you all have other sources to find out what’s happening, anyway. As for me, the top brass stonewall me at every turn, but leaning on Steven seems to have gotten me all the answers I need so far._

_Wishing you well,_

_Capt. Hannah Shepard._

_< g-man@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>, <t.krios@extramail.com>, <jtaydabomb@extramail.com> \+ 11 more_  
_Jun 13 th at 06:34pm_  
_Subject: Classified Info_

_Finally got her to crack. A few more details you won’t find on extranet news sites. – G_

_Forwarded: On Monday, June 12 th 2186, 11:19pm, <a.williams@alliancenet.com> wrote:_

_Fine, I can tell you some stuff – but I’m warning you Garrus, if I get fired for this I am coming to Palaven and personally kicking your ass._

_Shepard is officially ‘under house arrest’, but since she doesn’t have a house on Earth they put her up in the detention centre at Alliance HQ Vancouver.  There’s been talk about moving her back to Arcturus, but I doubt it’ll happen; the government wants her here, and the Alliance doesn’t have the clout to oppose them. Word is they aren’t on great terms right now; the President accused the Alliance of ‘conspiring to ignite war with the batarians’. What an ass._

_Basically there’s a huge catfight going on in the top ranks. Some of them want a conviction, dishonourable discharge and jail time, others want to keep her out of the limelight for a bit and let the whole thing blow over before putting her back on the front line, and some of them don’t know what they want. With Anderson and Hackett stalling things at every turn, the Reapers will probably get here before she’s actually brought to trial._

_That’s all I know right now. If they move her or set a definite date for the trial, I’ll let you know._

_And no, I can’t tell you what I’m doing, it’s classified, so_ stop asking _._

_Ash_

_< mlaws@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_Jun 30 th at 03:46pm_  
_Subject: Cerberus_  
_[Attachment: CerberusKasumiGoto.doc]_

_Kasumi,_

_As you’re no doubt aware, Cerberus are on the hunt for you. I finally managed to decrypt the files from their database, and I’ve attached those you’ll find relevant._

_Stay safe,_

_Miranda_

_< sexycatsuits@extramail.com> to <mlaws@extramail.com>_  
_Jul 1 st at 10:28am_  
_Subject: Re: Cerberus_

_Thanks for the info, Miranda. If I find anything that’ll help you I’ll return the favour._

_Keep safe._

_< j.moreau@alliancenet.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>, <bioticbitch@extramail.com>, <wrexanator@extramail.com> \+ 12 others_  
_Jul 29 th at 05:15pm_  
_Subject: Freedom!_

_Hey guys, guess what? I’m FINALLY allowed to use my extranet account again! Before anyone asks, I haven’t been kicked out of the military and I’m not in jail. Technically. And I also haven’t seen Shepard. She’s still not in jail yet either. Sort of._

_But! The Normandy is as beautiful as ever, I’m sure you’ll all be glad to hear. I’m allowed on just to ‘supervise’  the refits sometimes. EDI says hi._

_I doubt any of you will come to Earth in a hurry since you’d probably be arrested, and you can’t visit me anyway, but hey, the thought’s there._

_Stay alive everyone._

_< concernedfriend@extramail.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>_  
_Aug 14 th at 07:02pm_  
_Subject: A Warning_

_Miss Goto,_

_Firstly, I apologise for being unable to use my real name and address, but my job does not allow such luxuries. Be assured that I am a close friend of Shepard’s, and I have taken it upon myself to look out for her friends while she no longer can._

_I have it on good authority that you are being pursued by a Spectre named Jondum Bau. You may already be aware of this fact, but I thought it urgent to bring to your attention. He may already be tracking this mail account, your bank accounts, and any other official channels. I would advise utmost caution and that you may wish to go into hiding. I’m sure you know what to do._

_If you need assistance or sanctuary, please reply to this email address._

_Yours,_

_Concerned Friend._

_< sexycatsuits@extramail.com> to <group: entire address list>_  
_Aug 15 th at 12:48am_  
_Subject: Going silent_

_Dear all,_

_I’m going dark for a while. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. See you on the other side._

_K_

_< j.shepard@alliancenet.com> to <sexycatsuits@extramail.com>, <g-man@extramail.com>, <talitali@extramail.com> \+ 24 others_  
_Oct 2 nd at 04:53pm_  
_Subject: Invasion_

_Everyone,_

_They’re here. Earth is taken. Normandy made it out; everyone on board bar Anderson, he stayed behind to lead the resistance. Will be at the Citadel tomorrow, all being well._

_There’s no plan yet, but there will be. Be ready. It’s time._

_Shepard_


End file.
